Saturday, October 21, 2006

BOOO
heh slpovr!it's nice to have pple to be crazy with.though i think yasi was very embarrassed heh.

rah i just feel so =( that i keep deproving and deproving and then diff people come to me and say, hey, i think you deproved a lot.or hey, the gap btwn us is closing!or hey, your tone deproved.why sound like that.gives a wierd face.ARGH.ok the closing gap is good cos it means the person improved but well i know the person meant i was deproving a lot.

AHH i cant take it.my tone sucks my technique sucks my sight reading sucks.and they werent even good in the first place SO CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW THEY ARE NOW.
i really hope it's just the reed.but if i were good then the reed wont matter right.
what am i saying.
i'm DEPRESSED.

actually i know it's just all my fault for not going indivs and stuff.i dunno why i am so lazy nowadays when i have no right to be.stupid elissa.guess i shall just try to work harder.and abt studies,i hate it when pple say oh, you lost to that person by one pt!i mean hello i'm not even competing and i'm REALLY GLAD she did so well.why on earth do you all just like to compare and compare AND COMPARE all the time and keep asking abt my grades if all you ever do is give me that 'you are crazy' look and go tell the whole world all my grades and pts so everyone gives me that look.cant you all just be happy and stop asking.if you ask then say congrats or sth right.no one asked you to ANNOUNCE to the whole world what.and i dun even wanna tell you all stuff cos i know it'll just make other people feel worse what.and further more, i know that wdv i did well is not me but God's grace.sighh just wish they could just understand.i guess in moments like this i wish i were in ny again when pple wont react this way.=(

sighh i'm really sad that some pple in my band are retaining=( sighhhhhh.

anw,cm let's prac tgt soon!=) sorry cant go shopping with you today.next wk or sth k!
and jac i have a sudd craving to eat a cake!pls go bake for me soon=)
and YASI!um.hello!sorry i think i'm being retarded heh.
bye!!!


*-doublechocolatefudgecheesecake-* was ranting and raving at 10:17 AM

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