doublechocolatefudgecheesecake

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

I don't understand why my playing is so lousy. It's getting worse and WORSE I think I should stop crying over it and DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. Maybe people can't see it but I'm already trying very hard!!! I just don't know why I'm so scared or why it doesn't feel right to be playing right there and then. I feel so bad when people are so patient with me and all I do is screw things up and let everyone down. I just want to dig a hole and bury my head in the sand forever.

I don't want this to be over because I'll miss it all. The worst thing is that I'm so stressed I'm not even enjoying myself right now when I know I should be. Why am I so stupid.

I miss that person but I don't like it that the people I like always turn out as disappointments. When this week ends I will probably be distraught or something but right now whenever I see him all I want to do is slap him. I must be mental.

*-doublechocolatefudgecheesecake-* was ranting and raving at 11:14 PM

w e l o v e c h e e s e c a k e

us
chiaming elissa yasi jac

0805 1805 0806 3112

we love

patrick the oboe
jeremy the bassoon
alfred the flute
stanley the clarinet

fate of the gods.seventh night of july.sixth suite.
chocolate cheeeesecake

wish list

to be PRO
go to the same jc and uni?
to go overseas together
quadruple dating;)
marry on the same day
stay in the same condo
be godparents of each others kids
go for lots of holidays with our families together and tour arnd this spinning worlddd
bestest frens forever=)
hope all the above comes trueeee

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